December 22, 2004
- If you really want to get better at golf, go back
and take it up at a much earlier age.
- The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
- Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth
bad shot is actually
the beginning of the next group of three.
- When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will
always look down again at exactly the moment when
you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want
to see it again.
- Any change works for a maximum of three holes and
a minimum of not
- No matter how bad you are playing, it is always
possible to play
- Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts
in your mind
during your swing.
- When your shot has to carry over a water hazard,
you can either
hit one more club or two more balls.
- If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green
while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options:
you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait
until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
- The less skilled the player, the more likely he
is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
- The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the
instant elimination of the one critical unconscious
motion that allowed you to compensate for all your
- If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
- Golfers, who claim they don't cheat, lie.
- Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach
- A golf match is a test of your skill against your
- It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when
you lie 10.
- Counting on your opponent to inform you when he
breaks a rule is
like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
- Nonchalant putts count the same as 'chalant' putts.
- It's not a gimme if you're still away.
- The shortest distance between any two points on
a golf course is a straight line that passes directly
through the centre of a very large tree.
- There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces,
and bounces just
the way you meant to play it.
- You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and
a 2-inch branch
90% of the time.
- Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently
triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium
of the universe.
- If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods
does, simply try to
lay up just short of a water hazard.
- To calculate the speed of a player's downswing,
multiply the speed of his back swing by his handicap.
Example: back swing 30 mph, handicap 20, downswing
- There are two things you can learn by stopping your
back swing at
the top and checking the position of your hands: how
many hands you have, and which one is wearing the
- Hazards attract; fairways repel.
- You can put "draw" on the ball, you can
put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can
put "straight" on the ball.
- A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away
is not yours.
- If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the
bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
- If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the
- Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to
- Every shot pleases someone.